live. love. and dream. a star that constantly burns in the sky.

Saturday, January 28, 2006

ahhhhh

it didnt fully hit me till now - im sick! ahhh! and ive gotta study for three exams for mon and tues!! ahhh! i cant do it, im trying so hard atm to concentrate but totally failing - oh cruel fate.

im so concerned about my math - if i cant get world issues thru my thick-snot-fillled- skull then how the hell am i going to get math?? blah.................72/% pop growth equals....?!?1 iremember the formula but i totally forgot wat to use it for?? ahh here we go, determine the doubling time of a countrys population.

now lets pop a few brain cells trying to figure out wat that means!

a..country...is doubling..in...growth...how many years...does it take to double? !

how to get % pop growth? that i dont get - this equation is WEIRD.....ah well.

gah, i dont even kno wat im supposed to kno - i wasnt there on the days he'd explain watz on the exams


grrrr--8!

hahaha i pulled off a funny. ....yeah, im sure i gotta kno these things - like the moticcations of terrorism...or i could guess, hopefully being said there's enuff mutiple choice on the exam to get me by

ozone depletion? oh joy....watz alternative development? o-o


Exam Question:

Explain alternate development:


u wouldnt! u wouldnt! did u even teach us that? XO


arghhhh =_- maybe luck will pull me thru ...or not? hahah usually ive relied on luck...hahah suddenly everything feels like a joke to me, itz funny. i cant help being in a good mood, the shine is shining and the air is clean as if it's spring


*as if*


hahaha, ....man waiting for the snow storm to drop on our hands. man i wanna go outside...i wanna smile and the air....sick tho =_= and gotta study

i wonder when im older...if ill regret something. maybe itz a defence thing, this ability to forget so easily. no i know it is, it must be - that must be how i deal with things. but i dont escape, not fully...there is always this bitterness in my heart...and as i grow, my eyes become more stern, and my mouth stiffer, and my hands clench more often. i get mad more often, but i forget and my mood changes just as easily. but it's still there. i remember only three or four years ago i had this light-heartedness about me that made me so naive about everything. when i started growing more bitter i didnt accept it at first, as ne1 wouldnt, but then i did, i did because i knew that that wont last. u take it, u deal wid it - u deal wid it as best as u can, and watever coems of it u try to make do. im looking att his from third-perspective...i personally, am not even sure if thats the case. if it werent for ppl telling me i was very different 3 yrs ago then i would not even believe it myself.

is the fact that i forget so easily wat continues to make me naive? maybe - i can let go of things pretty easily. woosh, to the wind, watch all my troubles and cares fly away, but i wont spare them an extra look....didnt u say this before? didnt u believe this before? yes...im so different, i change so often...my feelings..my tolerance. im always changing for someone who keeps still alot.

its amazing how i always find the resolve to do something when im sick, and then find myself unable to do that. maybe its a defense mechinism..and excuse. "oh i tried...but i was sick =( and now i dotn feel like it"

ah well stop feeling sorry for urself, little girl. 18 and still a lil girl...ahaha look where life takes u - or where u take ur life.

whichever, whenever...........*looks at world issues binder*

-_-? on to eng lit i guess?

trying saying this 5 times rlly fast - BAH-KTIN! make sure to spit when u do!


l8r days

Friday, January 27, 2006

Slowly....

A simple paranoia. The look of fear - the fear of white. A cock of the head, a look of distrust, a simple memoir of coliding dreams. The wavering eyes that never seem to look straight. The careful ease at which they fall to the dirt-ridden floor.

And in the end you're only betraying yourself.

What's there to say? In the end, it's all the same. The profound, the inept, all meet together to form the universe. A one, a whole...

a nothingness.